First Time Sex

Length of Shower: 6 to 9 minutes --WARNING TO MY MOTHER: Mom, you prolly don't want to read this.

The other day I was hanging out with one of my best friends and the age old question of when to have sex came up.  See, he was going on the third date with this woman and wanted to know if he should "prepare" or be expecting anything.  I said "yes of course" but this female friend of ours chimed in and said "not necessarily."  Well, both of us men were immediately intrigued and asked what that meant. That's when she explained, "Each man a woman dates is different and makes her feel different.  Plus each woman is different."  This did not help us understand woman, sex or how to get sex any more than we understand exactly how escalators work.

She took the confused looks on our faces as such and continued her explanation, "Sometimes we (women) will give it up on the first date because we are sure the relationship isn't going anywhere but are fairly certain a guy is good in bed.  We are human after all and would like to get something out of this date.  But other times we may give it up because we have either been friends with him for so long or have done enough insider research and are sure he isn't a jerk who is going to screw us and leave us.  Both of those are rare though.  Most of the time we (woman again) want to have sex with you (men) just as much as you want to have sex with us on a first date.  The problem is that we have more will power and we really like you and would like to see it go farther than the first date.  We know that by stringing you along a bit longer we can both get to know each other better and therefore actually start a real relationship, which is what we want."

Our confused looks turned more confused, "Wait.  So, your saying that a woman is more likely to give it up on a first date if the date is going badly?"

"Yes.  And no.  See there is also a huge reputation issue hanging above most women's heads.  We are worried about being considered a slut or easy and no woman wants that label placed on them.  We women also know that for the relationship as a whole to succeed we need to hold off on sex for at least three or four dates."

I quickly responded, "Yea, but most of my best and longest term relationships started with sex on the first date."
"And yet you are over 30 and still single!"
"Good point. Go on."
"As I was saying," she continued, "if sex is held off until at least the third date then the chances of a successful long term relationship, ie. true love that lasts forever, go way up because you are building a stronger base to the relationship that doesn't include sex."
"But every good relationship should have a healthy sex life to it" my friend threw out.
"Yes that's true but making sex the actual base of the relationship is dangerous since that will fade over time but things like 'common bonds' and 'trust' and 'honesty' and 'open communication' are the true building blocks of the healthiest relationships."

We both sat in silent contemplation until that slow smile of true understanding revealed itself on our faces.  My friend and I both felt smarter for having listened to this wise woman.  We felt more understanding of the importance of waiting until the third date.  We felt wiser to the ways of women and dare I say we even felt a tad "enlightened."  But then my friend became worried and had to ask the next logical question...."So how many dates is too many before having sex?  Is there a 'sex window' that can be missed?"

"Oh brother!" she replied.  "Why are guys so clueless?"

That, my friends, is another blog for another time.