Length of Shower: this shower cost me aprox 25 cents! --Yesterday I balanced my checkbook and it read zero. That's right, I was out of money, which got me thinking. Not about what size of box I would like to live in or on which corner of the city to start making a claim, but rather if I could make it through a whole day without spending any money. And that's when I thought, "This is a lot harder than it seems!" Is it possible for any normal American to spend nothing for an entire day?
The immediate answer is no, not in actuality, because from the moment you wake up you are spending money on either the rent, mortgage, heat, air conditioning, water, or the electricity you use when turning on a light or even that bed you are sleeping on that you are still paying off. You see, even before you wake up in the morning you are spending money. No wonder they call us all "consumers." But once I put that out of my head the challenge was still there; could I spend (short of the above named things) nothing for an entire day?
Obviously this would be easier on a weekend (luckily it was Saturday) and if I didn't see anyone else the whole day, so I cleared my lunch appointment with a friend and planned my day of existential bliss. I would begin by eating only what was in my apartment. That should be easy. I went to the cupboard and pulled out my LIFE cereal (appropriate don't you think?). After pouring a bowl and preparing my spoon I opened the fridge and grabbed the milk. "Whoa, just enough left in the carton for a bowl of cereal." That's when I noticed the expiration date was two days ago. Keeping my spirits up as I dumped the milk down the drain, I resolved that I knew this day would come with some sacrifices and so I ate the cereal dry. No problem. One meal gone and no money spent.
After breakfast I was going to check my e-mail. I slowed down to consider if this was somehow spending money and decided it fell into the above mentioned loopholes as long as it was only checking e-mail and no other unnecessary use of electricity. After checking my e-mail and avoiding several tempting pop-up ads I prepared to go to the gym. "Oh crap, I can't use the gym because that costs money and doesn't fall into the loopholes." So, I decided I would just run though my neighborhood and do some push ups and sit-ups at home after my run. Yes, another dollar saved!
The next hurdle was more difficult than I expected. Hours and hours with nothing to do. I couldn't watch TV, couldn't surf the web, couldn't make an unnecessary phone call, and definitely couldn't drive anywhere. So, what was I supposed to do with the rest of my day? That's when I thought, "what would David Thoreau do?"
I decided he would sit down near Waldon Pond and read, and so would I (without the pond). But without buying a new book I was stuck with the books on my own shelf. I grabbed a book I liked but hadn't read in a while and, leaving my wallet on the counter to prevent any mishaps in my mission, I headed for the park near my apartment. Luckily it was a nice day and so I laid down my blanket and settled into my book. About an hour later I was thirsty and scorned myself for not bringing water. That's when I noticed the hot dog vendor 20 yards away who was selling water and Gatorade and all sorts of refreshing drinks. This only made my thirst more prevalent. I scanned the park for any other source of refreshment. I suddenly noticed all sorts of people doing all kinds of activities and they all seemed to have water or drinks readily near by. My mouth started to dry up as my brain was clearly telling it not to expect water any time in the near future. But then I spotted my oasis. No, literally it was an oasis. A small pond in the corner of the park that I had never noticed before. I gathered my book, blanket, and pride and headed for the pond.
On my way to the pond I noticed a fenced in area with dogs and people. "Oh yeah, I totally forgot there was a dog run in this park," I thought to myself as a smile spread across my face. Now, I love dogs. And while I didn't currently own one, I still liked to spend time with them and the dog run made for a welcome distraction from my search for water. So, I headed over to watch the dogs play for a bit before filling my body with dirty pond water. This dog run was full of all manner of dogs but my eye kept going back to this cute cocker spaniel and poodle mix. She wasn't full grown yet and after a quick talk with the owner I found out she was only about 7 months old and having the time of her life playing with the other dogs. As I watched her and thought back to my days as a young boy on the playground at school, she suddenly scurried away from the other dogs and headed to the corner of the fenced in area. My eyes scanned ahead in the direction she was running and I almost fell over when my eyes landed on her destination: A large water bowl with fresh water dripping into it! My dry mouth reared it's ugly head and reminded me of my desperate need for water. "There must be a water fountain nearby!" I thought I said to myself until that cute dog's owner said, "What?"
"Oh, is there a water fountain nearby that you know of?" trying not to sound like a desperate bum asking for money.
"Not besides the one for the dogs I don't think."
"Damn it!" I actually kept this exclamation inside my head this time.
"Well, it was nice to meet you," I said as I staggered away from the dog run and placed myself halfway between the only two options I had. It was either deal with the dirty pond water or suck up my pride, get down on all fours and lap away at the water dripping into the bowl meant for dogs.
Again I thought, "What would David Thoreau do?" I looked up and prayed for rain, but the clear blue sky and hot sun above me just starred down and muffled their laughter. I considered some form of condensation off of the leaves from nearby trees but quickly brushed the thought away as that would take way too long. Could I actually make it home before falling over from thirst and exhaustion? I decided I had no other choice and made a beeline through the park for my apartment 5 blocks away.
The walk home was not much better. I passed a man watering his flowers in the front of his house, and some firemen working on sealing off a leaking fire hydrant and a little girl and her mother who were singing "Raindrops keep falling on my head..." When I finally made it to my apartment I realized that my keys were resting snugly under my wallet which was safe inside my apartment where I left it. "Damn it!" I said and this time let it ring out in my apartment doorway.
That's when a miracle happened. God smiled upon me and repaid me for stepping up to the challenge and not giving in. In the same way God rewarded Job for all he had gone through the good Lord was shining heavenly light upon me now. A saviour was delivered to take me from my thirsty solitude. Her name was Carrie. She was my cute next door neighbor that I had not yet had the pleasure of meeting until the opportune moment.
"Are you OK?" came the soft sweet voice of emancipation.
I turned around so fast I made both her and her dog jump.
"Oh Hi! I've locked myself out." I said before we briefly introduced ourselves (the dog's name was Rufus) and she invited me inside her apartment so I could call the building superintendent to come over and give me a spare set of keys.
"Can I get you anything to drink?" she said after what seemed like hours.
As casually as I could muster I answered, "Oh yea, water would be fine if it's no trouble."
She laughed, "You're funny." I blankly starred back at her clearly not understanding my own joke.
"Oh, didn't you know that they turned the water off today in the whole building to work on something. It's posted on the door to the building. You didn't see it?"
I quickly recovered, "Of course I saw that, that's why I was being funny," I lied to save face.
"But I have a Brita pitcher with plenty of water in it. Do you still want a glass of water?"
I tried to contain the waves of desire unexpectedly rushing through me for both this generous woman and the glass of water she was now presenting to me as I nodded my head like a starving young boy getting his first taste of chocolate chip cookies.
"Wow! You were thirsty," she said so politely as the last drips of water ran down my chin from drinking too fast.
"Oh, yea. I just really like water ya know? Can I have another glass?" I said in my best and calmest of James Dean voices.
"Of course," she said as she poured me another glass of the refreshing elixir. "And feel free to turn on the TV. The super can sometimes take forever."
And with that invitation I realized how I would get through the rest of the day without spending a dime!
I spent the entire afternoon and better part of the evening partaking of Carrie's generous nature and fabulous company. When I went to bed that night I felt good for many reasons. One, I had passed my own challenge. Two, I hadn't spent any money that day. (Carrie did, but I didn't) Three, I now had a spare set of keys. Four, I had learned how valuable and precious water can be. And five, I had a new and budding relationship with the cute girl who lived next door. And as a bonus I now had a dog I was becoming fast friends with. I also knew the perfect place to take him so he could meet new friends and drink the fresh, cold liquid of life.
Yes, saving money is good and can help you appreciate new places, people, and the value of life's basic needs.
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