The Shower Shave

Length of Shower: Shaving time is always a nice feeling  --I think that I save time by shaving in the shower.  True, the foggy mirror is a detriment and I therefore sometimes miss large patches of hair on my face and neck, but all that water that’s already running makes rinsing the razor easier.  Plus, rinsing my face off at the end is a lot easier too.  Plus, shaving in the shower gives me an excuse to stay in the warm ‘rain’ for longer without being called a wimp, or some kind of water waster.  I am a green person, but let’s face it, who doesn’t like a nice warm shower to last just a bit longer?  So, for that and the convenience of getting two things done at once I often shave while in the shower.  I know most guys shave at the sink, but when I shave at a sink my skin isn’t as soft as it is in the warm steam of the shower and so I feel like it just hurts my skin more and causes more razor burn.  Not to mention, when I go to rinse my face by splashing water onto it from the sink it inevitably gets the bathroom floor wet...and that can be very dangerous.  And you don't want to add any more danger when you already have a razor blade up to your neck! 

The Allure of a Sale

Length of Shower:  Is discounted water better than normal price?  --Yesterday I went grocery shopping.  Not an odd thing to do, but something that needed to be done.  Now the thing about grocery shopping that I want to discuss today is the mysterious draw of the sale cart.

Every grocery store has one and in my case its actually a small closet area in the back corner called the “Discount Corner.”  Now the weird thing about the Discount Corner is the strange power it has over me.  I always end up being pulled by some mysterious force into this dark corner of the store. The corner where everything is severely marked down for reasons only the manger apparently knows (because there are a lot of “manager marked down” tags on things).  I peruse all the useless stuff in there and I find it difficult to not buy something.  It’s like I feel obligated to my budget or wallet to buy something in this tiny corner of junk.  It’s like some sort of aura comes over my body and mind when I’m back there and I begin rationalizing the need for stuff I don’t actually need.  Like the other day I reasoned a purpose for buying a package of 100 tiny paper plates with the USC (University of Southern California) school symbol on them.  I never went to USC.  I don’t really know anyone who went there.  I don’t particularly like USC, and yet there I was holding those 100 plates and looking for more deals!  Why do I do this?  Its not like I ever find anything back there that changes my life in a dramatic way.  In fact, most of the time I get home and never remember even buying these useless items.  When I attempt to remember why I purchased such an item my memory has already blacked out my time spent in the illustrious "Discount Corner."

So yesterday, I walked out of the corner and dropped the plates and one other item into my shopping cart and proceeded to the checkout.  Somewhere between the discount corner and the checkout I remember becoming myself again and a weird haze lifting from around my body.  But imagine my surprise when, as I was putting items onto the conveyor belt at the register, I picked up and dropped among the rest of my food a box of vagisil.  How in the world did I ever rationalize buying that?  I’m a single guy who lives with a roommate who is also a single guy.  What out of this world force is at work back in that corner that would make me even contemplate buying a box of vagisil?  Was it marked down so much that I just felt I had to buy it because NOT taking advantage of a deal that good would just be criminal?  Or did I actually think that I might pass it onto some woman in the near future and she would be totally appreciative of my purchase; a purchase that was THAT cheap no less?  The answer to that is:  I have no freaking idea!  I mean why is vagisil even in a supermarket?  

The whole experience was actually kinda scary and a huge wake-up call for me.  I swore to myself right there that I would never go back into the discount corner again, and you should consider that oath for yourself as well.  Learn from my embarrassing mistakes….The discount cart/corner at the grocery store is just freaky.  Stay away!  

Opening Up

Length of Shower---Why is it so hard to open some things? --Recently I've noticed a trend that is the opposite of what society seems to tell us.  Most men are actually more open and honest than women.  

I am a fairly normal guy by societal standards.  I like sports, beer, a good action movie and I shed that single tear when Ray Castella get's asked by his dad to play catch in Field of Dreams.  I'm also a straight guy and I don't much care for shopping or quilt making.  Society has that all pretty straight (no pun intended).  But society would also lead you to believe that I am simple in my desires and that I hold back in my emotions with women while they are free and open with theirs.  Recently, however, it's becoming more apparent to me that the last sentiment is way off base.

Several years ago I was head over heels in love with this amazing woman.  We dated for over a year and then she broke up with me.  It was a simple break up for her, but I was left totally confused.  As it turns out she was holding back emotionally and that I was "too perfect" in fulfilling her emotional needs.  I would too often tell her what she wanted and needed to hear at the right times.  What?  I took the hit and went on with my life.  A couple years later I met another woman who was even more amazing than the last one.  We dated for over two years and I even went so far as to buy a ring.  Only to find out that she too was holding back emotionally.  She was "never really honest" with me about how she felt and that she wasn't sure she "had ever been completely comfortable" with me the entire time we were dating.  What!?  She too said that I was amazing emotionally and was a "great and sensitive" guy but that she needed to go find herself.  Another punch to the gut, but again I got up and went on with my life.  

Several months ago I relocated to a new city.  I was excited about the prospect of dating here and thought maybe this city's women could "handle" me; but again I was wrong.  I soon started dating this wonderfully independent woman I had met on-line.  She was free and seemingly open and things were going along well.  When the time came to take a tiny step forward in the relationship however, she hit me with "you are the most emotionally intelligent man I've ever met.  I'm not ready for you."  What?  "Emotionally intelligent?" Who knew?  And if they knew, who knew that would be a bad thing?  Isn't that what society says men have none of...emotional intelligence?  Isn't that what  women have been complaining about in men for centuries?  And now that we have evolved to meet that standard, no woman wants it?  Maybe while we men were evolving emotionally women were de-evolving emotionally to meet our once low standards and we missed meeting in the middle.  Maybe?

I went in search to see if it was just me.  I started prodding my straight male friends to share with me some of the details of the emotional relationships they have, or have had, with women.  I spoke with single and married men and what I found was eye-opening.  I was not alone!  In almost every case a troublesome point of contention was that it was the MEN who were more open and sharing than the women they dated or even married.  

I dug further.  This past weekend I met with two of my best friends, one a man and one a woman, as well as their significant others to discuss their relationships.  In the first relationship as I played "marriage counselor" they went on about various subjects and issues within their relationship.  Some were funny, some were serious, but all were issues they were "working through."  What the three of us discovered was that among other things, the man had actually been more open, honest and vulnerable in his sharing than she had been.  Not only that, but they both agreed that was the case.  The woman actually admitted it first and with a hint of pride no less.  Interesting.

The following night I met with a friend of mine and her boyfriend of one year.  They confessed that in their relationship too it is he who is more open and vulnerable than she is.  She admitted it a little more timidly than the previous day's woman, but then spoke freely about it saying, "Yes, I keep him at arm's length a bit but he shares openly without hesitation."  Really!?  

Because of all this I'm becoming more and more convinced that society has this wrong and that it is more often women who are holding back in relationships, not men.  But the real question is why?  Could it be, as stated above, that women were emotionally evolving backwards while men were evolving forward and we never met in the middle?  Maybe it's always been this way and the societal standard is just a myth?  Or perhaps men just have less to hide than woman?  Maybe it's because men bounce back from getting hurt easier and women don't?

Whatever the case might be it is clear that societal standards are both right and wrong in this case.  Wrong in the point that women are more open and vulnerable emotionally than men, but right in the fact that men and women may never see eye to eye on anything.  But we'll be damned if we stop trying, right?