Length of Shower: Is discounted water better than normal price? --Yesterday I went grocery shopping. Not an odd thing to do, but something that needed to be done. Now the thing about grocery shopping that I want to discuss today is the mysterious draw of the sale cart.
Every grocery store has one and in my case its actually a small closet area in the back corner called the “Discount Corner.” Now the weird thing about the Discount Corner is the strange power it has over me. I always end up being pulled by some mysterious force into this dark corner of the store. The corner where everything is severely marked down for reasons only the manger apparently knows (because there are a lot of “manager marked down” tags on things). I peruse all the useless stuff in there and I find it difficult to not buy something. It’s like I feel obligated to my budget or wallet to buy something in this tiny corner of junk. It’s like some sort of aura comes over my body and mind when I’m back there and I begin rationalizing the need for stuff I don’t actually need. Like the other day I reasoned a purpose for buying a package of 100 tiny paper plates with the USC (University of Southern California) school symbol on them. I never went to USC. I don’t really know anyone who went there. I don’t particularly like USC, and yet there I was holding those 100 plates and looking for more deals! Why do I do this? Its not like I ever find anything back there that changes my life in a dramatic way. In fact, most of the time I get home and never remember even buying these useless items. When I attempt to remember why I purchased such an item my memory has already blacked out my time spent in the illustrious "Discount Corner."
So yesterday, I walked out of the corner and dropped the plates and one other item into my shopping cart and proceeded to the checkout. Somewhere between the discount corner and the checkout I remember becoming myself again and a weird haze lifting from around my body. But imagine my surprise when, as I was putting items onto the conveyor belt at the register, I picked up and dropped among the rest of my food a box of vagisil. How in the world did I ever rationalize buying that? I’m a single guy who lives with a roommate who is also a single guy. What out of this world force is at work back in that corner that would make me even contemplate buying a box of vagisil? Was it marked down so much that I just felt I had to buy it because NOT taking advantage of a deal that good would just be criminal? Or did I actually think that I might pass it onto some woman in the near future and she would be totally appreciative of my purchase; a purchase that was THAT cheap no less? The answer to that is: I have no freaking idea! I mean why is vagisil even in a supermarket?
The whole experience was actually kinda scary and a huge wake-up call for me. I swore to myself right there that I would never go back into the discount corner again, and you should consider that oath for yourself as well. Learn from my embarrassing mistakes….The discount cart/corner at the grocery store is just freaky. Stay away!
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