Length of Shower: Sometimes this is the only true alone time I get --Today I did something that most Americans rarely ever do. Actually, I had to force myself to do it and even then it was a tough thing to do. This is something that generations before us did a lot of, but we rarely do and that may contribute to some of the messes we have ourselves in right now. Messes like the high divorce rate, and the crime rate, and possibly even the economy. What I did is slowly fading from society and may someday be completely non-existent. I actually sat alone, by myself, and did nothing for more than 20 minutes.
Yeah, think about that. When was the last time you did that? I mean no text or phone calls. No game boys. No TV. Not even drinking a beer or smoking a cigarette. Not even a conversation with someone next to you. None of that. Just you, by yourself, alone with only your thoughts for more than 20 minutes. Can't remember the last time you did that can you? I couldn't. Not before last night. Imagine doing it. Twenty minutes is a longer time than you may think when you are just sitting and doing "nothing." Go ahead, imagine it.
It's scary isn't it? I thought it was. And, in fact, it was at first. To be alone with only your thoughts. My hand began to twitch and reach out for my phone or a drink of something, anything...but nothing was there. My hand was denied. And so I sat. At first my thoughts went to panic and tried to find loopholes or radical rationalizations around the challenge I had before myself. But eventually, I began to ponder my life and where I was and where I was going. Again the rationalizations came, but then they went away and the truth began to sink in and stay. There was nothing to chase the truth away. Never mind what I discovered for myself; think of what you would discover about yourself! I know, it's scary...but it's also kind of exciting, right?
It doesn't matter where you do it, but I find that being outdoors helps the therapeutic nature of it a little more. Not the middle of woods, although that would be cool, but even just on your deck or balcony or porch. In your yard or on the hood of your car at the beach. Anywhere that you are not inside your work or home...although those are fine consolation places if you have no other choice. The time of day doesn't really matter either and whatever the weather is doing will have little-to-no hinderance on this process either. The point is to, as Nike would say, just do it.
See I feel that this is one of the things wrong with our current world. We have so many distractions to keep us from ourselves that its a rare person who actually knows him/her self. We have radios or TV or even other people, and now we have the ultimate distraction in the palm of our hands...our phones. These devices are fully equipped with all sorts of distractions and time spenders from texting to games to maps to up-to-the-minute news and weather. And I even see some people now-a-days with two or three phones! But do you really need all of that? No. Not every minute of every day anyway. All that stuff only takes you further away from your true self. The self that lives in your core. The one who helps you make those instinctual decisions. But how can you re-connect with that inner self? Take away the distractions.
You can start simple. Turn off the blue tooth and the cell phone ringer and even the radio the next time you drive. We are a society obsessed with multi-tasking, but that is only another distraction. So, I will let you multi-task just a little bit on your first exercise...driving in silence. Choose to turn all distractions off the next time you plan on making that 30 minute drive to work or school or church. No one else in the car and all other stimulus off. Then, let your mind wander. Not away from the driving or the road, but let the part that is normally listening to the radio roam onto thoughts that maybe you haven't thought about in a while. See what discoveries you make or what emotions and even solutions to problems come to the surface. Our minds are infinitely wonderful places and they often work out your problems in the backdrop or sub-conscience when you don't realize it. But you have to let those solutions and thoughts and discoveries come to the surface. You can't do that while you are talking to one friend and texting another and driving while smoking a cigarette and yelling at your kids in the backseat.
I know it's scary at first, but trust me and yourself, and find sometime this week to sit alone without any distraction for 20 minutes. Our grandfathers and great-grandmothers had it right: sometimes sitting on a porch doing nothing is more therapeutic than seeing any therapist or avoiding our problems all together. Trust me, the silence really is golden.
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