Friday, September 16, 2011
The Black Bra
Length of Shower: It was short because I just kept laughing about this story -
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes...Here's how it all went.
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the Black bra, Black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said,
(You'll love this)
"What's for dinner, Zorro?"
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Birthday Wisdom
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Length of Shower: Do I have to shower today, or will people just tell me I smell good without it? --Today is my birthday. 35 years old today. That's "old" to some people, "middle aged" to some, and "still young" to others. But to me, it's just where I am. It's just a number and doesn't mean much. I mean I don't feel 35. Of course I don't feel much over 28, but whatever.
So, for this special blog I thought I would just kinda throw down 35 points of wisdom that 35 years of life has taught me. (Let's hope I can come up with 35).
1. Eating and sleeping are important to everyday function.
2. So is cleanliness,
3. And fiber.
4. Spending time with children can be theraputic...but also traumatic.
5. Success is doing what you love.
6. Time is the eternal healer of all things.
7. Love really is more important than money.
8. God exists.
9. God is infinitely more complex than any human...but also more generous, loving and understanding.
10. Whether it's sunrise or sunset matters not, what matters is seeing them often and enjoying their beauty.
11. Eleven is my favorite number.
12. Twelve was Jeremy Langer's Jersey number in high school. I don't know why I remember that or why it is relevant to this blog...but maybe there's something there.
13. A Woman (or man) is not the answer. And many of them are definitely not the answer.
14. There is nothing like a good story, told well, and at the right time.
15. My parents are two of the most valuable people in my life....I'm lucky to have them both.
16. Marriage (even though I've never been married) is a tough thing that must be worked at very hard...but the rewards for that work and patience can be infinite and beyond your imagination.
17. I believe there are still places on this earth that man has never seen or laid their hands on.
18. I like sex. And that does not make me perverted or gross or "bad." It makes me human.
19. Astrological signs can be accurate, but they can never tell you everything or decide your fate.
20. I'm still not sure I believe the sentiment that states: "To have loved and lost is better than never to have loved at all." It sounds true, but my "jury" is still out on that.
21. Shakespeare will always be one of the greatest writers of all time...and it doesn't matter to me if he was one single man or not. The collection is priceless.
22. Sports are as important to our culture as art, music, science, and religion.
23. People are mostly the same and are all inately good at their core....no matter the color of their skin or language they speak or background they have.
24. No matter how far technology develops....nothing will replace the power of human touch.
25. "Everything in moderation" really works!
26. Physical activity is as important to your inner self as it is to your outer self.
27. Money isn't everything....but it sure makes everything a lot easier.
28. The journey of self discovery is very important, but rarely taken.
29. As an artist I feel it's my job to share each and as many aspects of the human condition with other humans as possible, and to do it without judgement.
30.Never grocery shop when you are hungry.
31. Friends can be as close and important as family if you choose them wisely.
32. Living in the moment is so important to enjoying life to its fullest; but it's also one of the hardest things to do well.
33. Animals are the windows to Heaven and possibly the angels that look upon us here on earth
34. Trust....just do it. Sure you may get burned every now and again, but it's better than not trusting anyone and living with fear and paranoia your whole life.
35. The car goes where your eyes go. (Think about it...it's true on many levels)
That's it. Hope some of these where helpful or insightful. Happy Birthday to me :)
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